Lake Norman Counselors, Providers

The Moving Mountaineer

Hi everyone! My name is Hannah. I am trained in Marriage and Family Therapy, and I am looking forward to providing therapy to children, teens, and their families!

I recently moved to the Lake Norman area from Boone, North Carolina. I spent the last 6 years living in the mountains while I attended Appalachian State University. While a piece of my heart will always be in the mountains, I love the Lake Norman area and I’m happy to call it my new home! 

Moving away from what was familiar is difficult at times, and I still find myself adjusting to my new home–mostly the traffic. However, change is something that I have become familiar with over the years. This was my twenty-second time moving in my lifetime. I’ve lived in 3 states: North Carolina, Indiana, and Ohio. While I am a North Carolina native, I lived in Ohio for most of my childhood and moved back to North Carolina at the age of thirteen. This is an age when life can be difficult enough before you add in the weight of a big life change like moving to a different state. Talk about overwhelming! 

Over the years, I have learned to welcome the challenge of change and see it as an opportunity to grow. Change can be scary but change is also a powerful force. It impacts all aspects of your life and provides the opportunity for further development and self-discovery as you explore the new chapter that is unfolding in front of you.

I believe that change is a crucial part of therapy. Life changes or the desire to enact change is why many people seek the support of a therapist. My experience with facing changes in my own life has taught me so much about the resiliency of human beings. I believe that we are all capable of facing whatever obstacles that are put in our paths, and I look forward to walking with you during your season of change.

Lake Norman Counselors, Providers

Mazza’s Moving Mountains

Hello everyone! I’m Madison Mazza, and I’m the newest member of the LKN Counselors family. I’m very excited to start working with teens, adults, and couples in the Lake Norman area!

I just moved to North Carolina from West Virginia, so there has been a lot of change in my life recently. Although change can be scary, it can also be very exciting and necessary to lead a more fulfilling life. I know many clients who come to counseling will also be experiencing or trying to enact change, whether it be in their personal life, work life, or social life! I think it’s comforting to know that we all go through periods of change (and growth!) and having that validation and support from others can make a world of difference. I look forward to working with clients who feel like they’re in a transitional state and want guidance and support through that process.

Speaking of support, I come from an Italian background where family has been such an important part of my life. I think having any type of support system (this does not have to be family whatsoever!) can help us navigate through life’s twists and turns. Support can come in all shapes and sizes and can even include your counselor, which is a big component of the therapeutic relationship in my eyes.

Being Italian, we also have a huge love and passion for food. Anything with carbs will do. I love to cook and bake, and I especially love to eat and try new foods!

As a native West Virginian, our motto “Montani Semper Liberi,” which translates to “Mountaineers are Always Free” has really resonated with me throughout my life. Being free from life’s pressures and stress takes time and a lot of hard work. But I truly believe this is possible! We often prioritize our physical health and leave our mental health on the back burner. We value beauty and physical fitness as a culture, but forget how important it is to put the same value on our self-care and mental health. This is especially important since we can get lost in daily stressors so easily. Freeing yourself from the stressors and chains that keep you from being the best you possible is the ultimate goal, and I’m excited and honored to be a part of that journey!

The LKNC family has welcomed me with open arms and it feels so close to home that I know the change that is happening will be well worth it. And the changes that you can make through counseling will also be well worth it! Country roads will always take me home, and I’ll always be a “Mountain Mama,” but being a Lake Norman girl sounds pretty great too!

Counseling, Lake Norman Counselors

The Art of Procrastination

You should just read this later…

When you woke up this morning, was the nagging voice in your head the first voice that you heard? The voice that said, “you should’ve gotten up earlier to go to the gym.” Or “you should’ve finished that yesterday.” “You should unload the dishwasher.” “You should get some laundry done today, how many days in a row have you worn those pants now?” “You shouldn’t go out looking like this.” “You should’ve replied to that email/text.” “You really should meal prep & plan better lunches.”

Ugh. I’m exhausted from that internal dialogue already, and the day hasn’t even started. Is it time for bed yet?

If you even had a restful night of sleep in the first place, your energy level is going to quickly be depleted if you stay on that current mental trajectory. And you know what we do when we’re drained and exhausted? Nothing. Or at least nothing productive. We procrastinate!

One of the biggest complaints I hear repeatedly from clients (teens & adults) is around lack of motivation, low energy, not accomplishing goals, and procrastination. Well, I have great news. Working with someone like me – a trained cognitive behavioral therapist – can remedy those complaints. It’s hard work. It’s a constant mental battle to change our thoughts & thus our feelings, but we can train ourselves to think differently.

When it comes to procrastination, there’s one word getting in the way – should. “Shouldn’t” is also as equally toxic for our friends caught on semantics. If you re-read that first paragraph, all those draining, exhausting thoughts are should statements.

Here’s the results of should/shouldn’t statements: obligation, guilt, fear, embarrassment, dread, exhaustion, feeling judged, feeling as if we did something wrong, anxiety, anger, rebellion, being in conflict with what we really want or our values, hostility, irritation, lack of motivation… oh! And procrastination. I could continue, but I think you get the point.

Let’s evaluate two statements:

  • I want to go to the gym this morning.
  • I should go to the gym this morning.

How are those two statements different? How do they elicit different feelings? Is one more motivating than the other as you think or say them out loud?

You might follow through and do something you “should” do, but it’s going to be because there’s a sense of obligation, guilt, fear, embarrassment, dread, etc. if you don’t complete the task at hand. When you evaluate your life choices, are those the feelings you want driving your decisions?

Or would you rather be motivated by hope, energy, passion, drive, & enthusiasm? Because we typically correlate those feelings and motivators with what we want. And as a result, we’re more likely to follow through, accomplish our goals, and feel a sense of success or accomplishment as a result. Are you more likely to do something you want to do? Yes!!

Now my biggest skeptics, who typically have a culture of “should” very deeply ingrained (we can get into that in session), usually retort, “But there are things you have to do, things you should do, that don’t make me feel negatively!” Great! Then you’ve already learned how to reframe those “should statements” into “want statements” – so you’re ahead of the game.

Yes, I realize there is a reason I should look both ways before I cross the street. But guess what – I don’t want to get hit by a car today, so I am happy to do that! I want to look both ways to ensure my safety. So that reframe of the should to the want statement is relatively straightforward. It’s much harder when you’re doing work around issues you don’t want to do or when there’s a values conflict between what society/family/religion/etc tells you that you should do versus what you actually want to do.

So what are the best steps to eliminating procrastination & feeling more motivation? Becoming aware of your “should statements” is the first step! There will be a lot of them – so if that’s the case don’t be alarmed or surprised! We all have them.

If motivation & procrastination are an issue for you, please feel free to reach out. I can’t do therapy over a blog article and this is barely scratching the surface of the complexities of this issue! So please let me know how I can help – jamie@lkncounselors.com.